Ep.1/ The Shadow Side of Summer
Healing the heart
from miscarried
dreams
3 minute read
16/7/2022, Day 25, Deep Autumn
Ovulation can be a time of great joy. Our energy has been rising since our last moon cycle, and in most cases our oestrogen levels are increasing which can create a feeling of impermeability — that we can literally go out and take on the world.
Yet what happens when that’s not the case? What happens when we are filled with deep grief and despair instead of joy?
Even if you don’t feel a physical sensation (perhaps a tenderness in your ovaries like a mild menstrual cramp, or lower back pain), do you feel a difference in your emotional or mental being?
Is there a building up of sassiness? Do you feel a swing in your hips? Or perhaps you feel a pull to go buy something new — after all your body is wanting to be as attractive as possible — to call in a co-creator to fertilise your egg.
Let go
Of everything
that no longer
serves
Or instead, perhaps you feel an overwhelming intense giddiness. Like you’ve had 22 cups of coffee and been jack-knifed into a frying pan. Where you can’t spell your name let alone accomplish a simple task.
Perhaps you feel you’ve got to keep busssssssssssy or you find yourself high on dopamine (hello credit card spending) or another substance?
So. What could those feelings and actions be hiding? Is it covering up
a deep hidden grief?
Whether you wish to birth actual life into this world or not, your Inner Summer (ovulation) is the time where dreams can begin to come to life. The grief you may feel can sometimes be your subconscious reaction to all the times you miscarried your dreams and they didn’t go full term.
It’s tiring. Trying. Again. And Again. And Again. Wondering if this is the cycle that the dream will fertilise. And if it does — will the dream go the distance. Will you see it birthed and growing into the fullness of what you know it could be?
A step toward healing can often be stepping away from the ways you may have numbed yourself, and just sitting with the grief of your lost dreams. Yes, it may hurt and tears may flow. Yet this is just for a moment, and whilst one of the hardest parts, it’s such a powerful healing and restorative part of letting yourself go with the flow.
The healing gift of the Menstrual Cycle comes when we allow our body to let go of the emotional heart-ache as our womb cleanses itself through the release of our bleed in our Inner Winter moon time.
As your body let’s go of everything that doesn’t serve, there comes a point where the energy shifts and your womb starts to create space for the next opportunity for life. For a new dream. For you to deepen into.
Invite your cycle to hold you on this journey of transformative healing. Allow yourself some gentle time in your moon cycle to honour that your body is letting go of everything that no longer serves you and is creating space for everything that you want to create.
Nourish yourself, AND know that you don’t have to ‘get it right’ the first time. Or anytime for that matter — as your body knows how to breathe and literally Go with the Flow.
No matter whether you’re menstruating or following the moon cycle in your menopause, we have infinite cycles to deepen into.
If it serves, you can breathe into a simple mantra or affirmation like I am calling in the release. I am flowing with the slow. I am slowing with my flow or anything else that calls to you.
In love and light, Cara — Day 25.
Acknowledgements
The above article is written thanks to the powerful work and education on Menstrual Cycle Awareness taught by Alexander Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer at Red School. If you’re curious about working with the power of your Menstrual Cycle you can check out their book Wild Power here, or their podcast.
Written from a place where I am
D25 — Feeling the grace of my ancestral line and the flow of my inner medicine woman. Deep reverence for life and the power flowing in me.